Trying to be transparent
Woke up with a DHL delivery phone call,Goddamn it,Cause he made a time schedule 10.30am sharp to deliver,but he’s fuckin late,that’s really irritated..Shit,this is another brand new morning,another day to sit my ass here thinking about what to type since nothing happen today..Each moment that i wait feels like a year, an eternity. each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. through each moment i can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. something has gone where i cannot follow..but no worry,this’s not a pessimistic period…i shouldn’t have let myself trust anyone. or to be whatever it is, and i actually gave up,essentially, my life as i knew it, to involve into this issues.
god, i hate being this afraid. if there is a god, help me get through this. make it right. make me feel comfortable? & good about what im doing. i should try to be gentle, kind, and forgiving and understanding. let’s pray…what if things don’t get better. what if I never grow out of this and live up to my potential. if my lives don’t turn out as planned or even close. i just want to be happy. i’m such a high maintenance person, i realise that it takes a lot for me to be happy on an everyday basis, and therefore it doesn’t happen often if it even does. I guess i have things that other people want, and it can be worse. I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life…
